A + A // life is more awesome than awkward

You know you're from a big family when....

You're never lonely... or alone.
There's always someone to play with, practice card tricks on, tickle, tease, read stories to and go crazy with. However, get used to the fact that you're not alone very often!

You're really good at sharing.
And knowing exactly how many pieces to cut things into. Twelve people = four oranges and everyone gets a third each. Twelve people = five croissants so everyone gets half each apart from the two people who aren't home today... what they don't know can't hurt them. :P

What I've Been Listening To

Today I'm sharing some of my favourite songs I've been listening to recently. Here we go! :) Enjoy!

Firstly, I LOVE the song Lord of the Dance. I was reminded of it recently when it was sung at Grandad's funeral (it was one of his favourite songs) and I've been listening to it quite a bit since then. This is my favourite version of it ever. Those acapella voices... wow. Just wow.




I love this next song because it reminds me of my potential... we truly are limitless! It's easy to look at us and down-talk ourselves. But sometimes what we need is some positivity! This song is a great reminder that we are limitless. I love the bridge especially.




There's a really cool story behind this song, Blessings. I heard them talking about on the radio the other day and was amazed! The words are so powerful, too! And such truth. She also has a beautiful voice.




Last but not least, this isn't a song but it's a really funny video that I thought you might enjoy. Studio C is awesome! This particular one is one of their best, I'm convinced of it. I showed it to my younger siblings and they were laughing hysterically (as was I).



What sort of music do you listen to? Do you have a favourite artist/album/song?

A + A // card tricks, comments and creamy mochaccinos

Awkward:
- Sleeping in the sleepout and having that early morning dash to the house after you get up because it's so. cold. outside.

- Telling a [wonderful] joke and having a very tiny, very polite ripple of laughter go through your hearers. Like seriously, did nobody actually appreciate it??

- Johnny: "The thing about wearing lots of pairs of thick socks is that you have to keep putting more on." Me; "???" Him: "You wear a pair of socks for a while. Then your feet start getting cold so you put on another pair of socks. For a few days/weeks that's fine. Then your feet get cold again so you have to put another pair on as well. You get cold no matter how many pairs of socks you wear! That's why I always go back to one and work back up from there slowly." Me: *wearing three pairs of thick socks* "Oh."

- Forgetting how old your sister is and constantly saying she was 17 when she was actually turning 17 that week. Like, I should know how old she is. She's always been 14 months younger than me. And always will be, too.

- Discovering that I have no less than SIX blankets, a thick duvet and a thin quilt on my bed. I mean, it's pretty cold in the sleepout but six blankets sounds like a lot. I'm nice and warm though, which is good!

- Being told something that just kind of floors you and makes you go, wow, I would never ever ever have realized that. Crazy.

- Hearing other people's embarrassing moments that just make you cringe on their behalf (but also make you feel better about your own constantly embarrassing and awkward moments!!).

- That hunt for pens when there are none to be found... anywhere. Strange how it's always pens, paper clips, blu tack (sticky stuff that sticks stuff together), cellotape and scissors that is always missing. We own heaps of those items but there are never to be found, even though they have clear locations. Frustrating.



Awesome:
- Creamy mochaccinos made with cream from our cow - seriously the best thing in the world!

- Collapsing into bed when you're really, really exhausted.

- Learning new card tricks and practicing them on your siblings. Then having your siblings show you more card tricks and being like, wow, these are actually really good! #BenandJohnnyaremagic

- Being asked to judge a competition at a public speaking group you used to attend. It's going to be really fun! And being asked is such an honour. :)

-Those early morning milkings where before you begin your hands are FREEZING and after you start milking your hands warm up really fast from the warmth of the cow and the exertion of your hands

- People who leave sweet comments and brighten my day

- The Google Images result for 'cute bunny' - SO ADORABLE!!! Also a surprising number of the cute bunnies have their tongues out, which is kind of weird since the rabbits we used to have didn't randomly poke their tongues out. But it's cute so whatever. Also I just wanted to mention that one of the pictures on the search result was wearing a WOOLY HAT. It was ridiculously cute. (Sorry. I'll now stop going slightly crazy of these cute bunnies.)

- Stunningly beautiful sunrises. *sighs*

(You're missing things if you like this if you don't follow me on Instagram!)

- Putting up pictures in the sleepout and making it a bit more homelike. One picture I purchased in China at an art market and I've never put it on a wall before now. I've been saving it for our sleepout. So exciting to see it on the wall!

- Quiet afternoons practicing music with Danella.


Do you play an instrument?
Are you forgetful of information like people's ages?
What small items are always going missing in your household?

Shatter Me For You - my heart's cry

This is raw and straight from the heart! I wrote it in June and thought today maybe I'd post it. I'm definitely not writing as many poems as I used to so enjoy this one!

Sunrise over our property

'Shatter Me For You' - my heart's cry

Draw me closer to Yourself

May we never be apart

Encircle me with arms of love

And melt the walls of my heart

My stubborn, sinful self

Needs to know who is in control

So take the lead and shatter me

Not in part, but Lord, the whole!

Ruin me for You, oh Father,

Take the barriers down

When I'm lost inside your love

is when I'm fully found.

Don't let me disguise my hurt

And soldier on through tears

Bare my heart before You

You're El Shama, the God who hears

I don't want the easy road

If it means I can know You more

So Father, here's my surrender

You've fought and won the war.

*changes subject*
Happy birthday to my lovely sister Danella who is 17 tomorrow (14th). Have a wonderful birthday and a wonderful year, Danella!

May you be blessed abundantly!

Meet Abby

Say hi to the newest member of our family... a lovely house cow who is named Abby!

She was named by her previous owners and knows her name so we won't change it. It is a little confusing, since my oldest sister's name is also Abbie. Pronounced the same way, spelt differently as you can see.

She's so good when we milk her and stands patiently. We're still learning and it takes quite a while but it's so nice to have lots of milk and cream from our own cow!

Anyway, enough discussion. Wanna meet her? :)

I know, right, isn't she cute?!

Jacob, Jana and Abby 

When I first posted this, my post ended here. However, the first commenter was Ashley who asked if I could post a video of someone milking her. Today's milking team was Danella, Ben, Johnny and Lydia. They happened to be milking when I read Ashley's comment so I went out and took a super quick video of them milking which I have embedded below. They had been milking for a while so the milk wasn't coming out as fast as it was at the start. They were also getting tired so switched with each other a bit.

Hope you enjoy it! Sorry for my cellphone's bad quality. There's also a bit of chatter in the background.

Off my phone

Today I thought I might share a few photos that I had taken on my phone and were languishing there waiting to be uploaded onto the computer.

I've been making a few bookmarks recently. These are just coloured pencil and Faber Castell Pitt pens.

Also I hadn't done a sketch for ages... until I did one the other day! It was awesome. Had so much fun. You guys, don't pass up on spare moments to play with a pencil and paper.

Look at this little cutie! There was a really lovely light in the sky coming towards dusk... and so Jana, Lydia and I went out and took a few photos together. This is one of the ones we did.

So photogenic!!

So is Lydia, actually

Awww.... now that is ridiculously cute.

I love that light!! It is so pretty coming through the gap between the trees.

Jana and yours truly...

Yours truly

Here's Ben collecting chestnuts

Jana being very helpful and raking up some leaves (we start them young, here :P )

Massive leaf-pile!!

Ben burying Baxter in leaves

Johnny being buried 

Lydia

Jacob

I just can't resist showing you these cuties again!

Oh look, here I am again! Selfie-ing with Jana. :)

And my favourite one, to finish with. The view from the end of our driveway.

What have you been up to?
Do you enjoy playing in leaves? 

PS. I'm away this week so that's why I'm not replying to emails or comments. :)

Hello, my name is... Regret

Hello, my name is Regret

I’m pretty sure we have met

Every single day of your life

I’m the whisper inside

That won’t let you forget

- From 'Hello, my name is' by Matthew West

As Matthew West's song says, regrets are the whisper inside that won't let us forget. That won't leave us. That won't give up on constantly reminding us of our failures.

Dictionary definition of regret

Regret: feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over (something that one has done or failed to do).

I think there isn't a single person in the world that doesn't have a regret about something. I have regrets. I often lie in bed and think back over the day and kick myself about things I did and things I failed to do! 

But the question is - are regrets healthy?

Because sure, it is good to make mistakes and learn from them. But isn't there a point where it becomes unhealthy to obsess over our mistakes and cringe over our actions? If so, where is that point?

As is always a good idea when we have questions like this, let's take it to Scripture.

2 Corinthians 7:10
For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.

There is definitely a time and a place for godly grief and godly regret. If we sin, we should not continue in an unremorseful state of mind! Our sin should be properly regretted and confessed to the Lord. 

1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

But after that regretting and confessing - what then? Well, we are cleansed from all unrighteousness, as 1 John 1:9 says the Lord is faithful and just enough to do.

Psalm 51:8-9 “Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that You have broken rejoice. Hide Your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities.”

He hides his face from our sins and blots out all our iniquities. Psalm 103:12 backs this up, going so far as to say that he has removed our transgressions (sins) from us as far as the east is from the west! That's a long way. 

God doesn't remember our sins. He takes them away and they don't count against us any more.

So what should we do?

Should we continue in our regret and annoyance at ourselves because of our sin?

You know what I think? I reckon that if God forgets our sin, maybe we should, too. 

I'm not saying that we can continue in our sin, forgetting the consequences and not learning from mistakes we have made. I'm saying that we should stop beating ourselves up about our past mistakes and just get on with our lives.

Philippians 3:13
Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead...

There we go. The key of it all, I think. Forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead.

I don't think that constantly looking behind us makes for a very good journey. If you look behind you all the time you won't see the potholes and pitfalls in front of you! No, you need to look in front of you and in the words of Paul, strain forward to what lies ahead. 

I think that the past can be an amazing teacher. We can learn so much from what has gone on in our past - and it can definitely be the catalyst for change in the future. 

But is heaps of regret helpful? 

No.

Proverbs 15:13 “A glad heart makes a cheerful face, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is crushed.”

You can't change the past but you can change the future. 

So no matter what you've done in the past - sins you've committed, foolish errors you've made, mistakes you've made, wrong roads you've taken- there's really no point regretting it too much. The past is the past. What's done is done. 

Stop looking behind you and regretting what you've done. Learn from your mistakes- and move on.

May you be blessed abundantly!

What has the Lord been teaching you lately?

Here's a Hair post

A while ago one of my readers sent me an email and asked for a hair post. Today I thought I might do that... although I'm warning you - what I do with my hair is CERTAINLY nothing fancy at all!!

Firstly, I wash my hair twice a week - either Tuesday/Wednesday and Saturday, usually.

I favour morning showers... just because it helps to wake me up and I like going into the day clean. I do like evening showers too, but then you have wet hair when you go to bed and it's not as easy to deal with.

My hair is thinnish and medium lengthish and brownish. Very 'ish'. There are a lot of times I've longed for really long, blonde, wavy hair... but God saw fit to give me brown hair that refuses to go the slightest bit wavy without some 'encouragement' from me! :)

What does that encouragement look like?  Good question.

Curling irons annoy me because they take forever and I haven't actually managed to figure out the best way to use mine. I've owned it for ages and use it sometimes but I'm never satisfied with how it ends up looking!

I find that my hair cycle goes like this:

It's not terribly scientific but you get the idea. As the time increases after I've washed it, the dirtiness of my hair increases. As it gets less clean, it gets more dirty. :P It's kind of a gradual gentle slope - it doesn't suddenly go really bad on day 2, it lets me down gently. :P

I usually just leave my hair out and straight the same day after I wash it. Then when I go to bed I put it up into a really high (kind of silly-looking, but who is looking at me when I'm in bed??) bun. If I want my hair particularly curly/wavy the next morning I'll also slightly wet the ends. Then I sleep.

Here's my random bun :P Right on top so it doesn't annoy me in bed.

The next morning I take it out and it's wavy and actually has quite a lot of volume! Yay for volume! :)  I then style it however I'm going to wear it - a ponytail maybe, maybe just leave it out, a half up, a side ponytail, whatever.

The volume (and wave) I get from the bed bun will gradually decrease throughout the day but it's amazing how much 'lift' you can get from sleeping with your hair in a bun. I found this anyway! It's like (and I'm too lazy to draw another graph) it jumps the cleanness up a couple of cm back into the previous day's slot. I don't know how to explain it better than that, and if you don't understand feel free to moan about it in the comments. :)

Anyway, where was I?

Oh yes. So the first night I do a bun. The second night I do too. It just works really well for me. If I wash my hair the next day the cycle repeats itself, otherwise just add another day onto it!

When I wash my hair I don't use conditioner. I find it makes my hair SUPER smooth - and like I said before, my hair is so naturally thin I do love some volume! So just shampoo for me. Saves money too.

I think that's everything possible I could tell you about my hair. I don't do anything super fancy - that's not me! Basically I like to keep things simple. So I do.

Any questions? Ask away.
Girls, how do you manage your hair? 

"Isn't this what I'd been waiting for all my life?!"

Sea and sky from the New Brighton pier

I don't really like sharing hugely personal information on this blog because something inside me wants to keep some things to myself. Some things are absolutely not made to be shared.
My experience with a young man was one of those- I wasn't going to share about it on my blog. But I've decided to share it today, not quite sure why, just thought maybe I would. Hopefully it will encourage someone.

*story starts now*

It all started around about September/October 2014. A young man who I'd known (just as an acquaintance) for a couple of years started Facebook messaging me. For a long, long time, I thought (or tried to convince myself) that he was just being friendly. It wasn't until other people who were not family members started thinking something was going on between us that I eventually conceded that yes, maybe he was interested in me. He had started going to our Church and then my parents started inviting him home with us for lunch because they wanted to check him out (fair enough).

I really enjoyed spending time around him. He took me to a few things, most definitely not 'dates' but group things that we'd both been invited to and that it was convenient for him to take me to since he drove and I didn't. I found him really interesting to talk to and looked forward to seeing him.

He went away for a training course for a few weeks on either side of Christmas. I really missed him during that time. You don't really know quite how much someone means to you until they go away.

Over this whole time of discovering he was interested in me and then going away, I was seeking God like never before. I'd sort of been 'looking out' for the right person God had prepared for me for ages, but never actually thought about what I'd do if they turned up!!

What if he was going to end up being my husband?
What if he wasn't the right one?
What if I was doing the wrong thing, getting involved in something that wouldn't work out?
But wouldn't it work out? Why shouldn't it? Isn't this what I'd been waiting for all my life?!
What was God's will in the situation?
I didn't know.

It was a really faith strengthening time. I really wanted to know God's will in the situation and I really had to trust him that he would show me his will, because it wasn't clear for quite a while.

Anyway, the young man arrived back from his training and it became very obvious that things were progressing quite speedily towards a relationship. He never said anything to me about it, but it was obvious. It just was.

I'd talked with my parents about it a lot, and also with a few other (mostly older) friends who I really trusted.

It was the beginning of March 2015 and I decided it wasn't fair to lead on the young man when I was having such doubts about the direction things were taking.
I contacted him and told him that I wanted to talk to him about something. We went for a walk and I told him everything that was on my heart. About how I wanted God's will for my life. And how that included the person I would end up marrying. About how I had prayed and sought God's guidance about the situation and not really gotten a clear answer. About how I didn't want to lead him on with him thinking I was approving a relationship when I wasn't sure.

He was really great about it. I had been so worried about having that conversation with him (because I didn't know how he felt!) but it all worked out great. We decided to have a two month 'break' as it were, to both of us seek the Lord and talk to some people about whether to end our special friendship completely or whether to take it into something more. We both wanted God's plan and that was the most important thing.

Part of the problem for me was that I'd allowed myself to get a bit emotionally attached. I really, really, really liked and admired this young man. He was (and is!) a lovely, kind, helpful, funny guy who is just really fun to be around. He's also a strong Christian and loves the Lord with all his heart.

I thought to myself, "But if I give this up, will there be anything else?? Is this my one opportunity for a relationship?"

It was really hard.

After the two months were up, we got together again. And decided that we would not pursue a relationship with each other (at least, not right at that time).

My reasons were:
- I didn't have any peace about it. After all the seeking of God I'd done, I didn't feel that pursuing it was right.
- My parents didn't feel that this particular relationship was right for me at that time. They advised me not to go into anything just at that stage and I felt like their advice was extremely wise.

I know I said this before, but it was really hard.

So we cooled it down. We're still friends, but absolutely nothing more than that.

I wrote about my opinion on what Christian relationships between girls and guys should look like back in June 2015. June was the month when it was probably the hardest for me, just fresh from saying goodbye to a relationship with this young man. Writing my opinion on relationships was really helpful - to remind myself of the reasons I'd done what I did and to caution against the biggest mistake I made, which was to get emotionally attached too early. I said in the post that I'd never been in a serious relationship, which was (and is) completely true.

At the beginning of this year, that same young man got involved in a relationship with a young lady I know. She is absolutely wonderful - so sweet, gracious, kind and, I think, probably better for him than I would be. I'm so absolutely thrilled for them both.

I regret nothing.

I've had cause to look back over the last year or so and go, wow, it was so hard. But I'm so glad it happened. I learnt so much. About myself, about God. Yes, it brought me a little bit of heartache and yes, there were times when I just about tore my hair out (!!) but oh, I learnt so much! And there was much joy and sunshine and fun in the process, too.

One particular moment sticks in my mind well. It was a couple of days after I had declined the relationship at that time. I was biking to work and I was a bit early so I stopped in a park on a bridge above a beautiful stream that I always love biking over. As I stopped my bike I was thinking about the last few days and asking God for some encouragement. Then I saw two big, beautiful white swans just floating down the stream. Now, I've stopped on that bridge many times and I've never seen two swans together before or since. I felt like it was God encouraging me - saying, "Bonnie, trust me. Don't despair. You might feel like you've lost your swan but it's not over yet. You can't see the future but I can. Trust me."

I was about to write "And that's the end of my story" when I realized that no, it isn't. My story is not over. That particular chapter of my life is over, yes, but then, so is all of my past.

The past is a great teacher.
That particular chapter of my life taught me this:
Trusting God isn't easy, but it's by far the best thing to do.

Lord, I trust you. May I ever learn to trust you more and more.

A Moving Experience // Part 2: The New House

This is part two in a two part series on our moving experience. If you haven't read part 1 yet, you can read it here! 

Well, it's now time to give you a photographic tour of our new house and property. Ready or not... here we go.

First of all.... our front door... see the sign?

Close-up of the sign

Daddy fixing some of the fridge wiring

Piano and a bit of the lounge

Ben on an errand

Perfect spot on the lawn for the trampolines

Working hard outside (see swimming pool in background!!)

Jana' helping

Little miss adorable

Caleb watching the garden being hoed

Some boxes are now unpacked! A rather large pile, in fact. 

Some friends came and helped us hoe the garden, cut down trees and remove massive weeds

Our play equipment still exists :P

I love this photo! Am including it because the sky is blue and there are some pretty flowers... :) 

The upstairs room is the boy's bedroom; downstairs is Mum and Dad's.

Beautiful autumn colours

Our vehicles parked outside

Stuff still stacked in the garage awaiting time to put it in the house and somewhere to put it

Our office is just up those stairs on the mezzanine

Stuff everywhere and empty bookshelves (they are now filled, just saying) 

The hallway

Annnnnnnd that's all the photos I've got for you today. Maybe there will be more another time.

What's your favourite thing about the house you currently live in?
What are some features your 'dream house' would have?