Bonnie's Opinion // Homosexuality..... and me

(sunset from the Hokitika beach)

How to Fight the Fire of an Argument

Who gets into arguments? *raises hand sheepishly*

Shatter Me For You - my heart's cry

This is raw and straight from the heart! I wrote it in June and thought today maybe I'd post it. I'm definitely not writing as many poems as I used to so enjoy this one!

Sunrise over our property

'Shatter Me For You' - my heart's cry

Draw me closer to Yourself

May we never be apart

Encircle me with arms of love

And melt the walls of my heart

My stubborn, sinful self

Needs to know who is in control

So take the lead and shatter me

Not in part, but Lord, the whole!

Ruin me for You, oh Father,

Take the barriers down

When I'm lost inside your love

is when I'm fully found.

Don't let me disguise my hurt

And soldier on through tears

Bare my heart before You

You're El Shama, the God who hears

I don't want the easy road

If it means I can know You more

So Father, here's my surrender

You've fought and won the war.

*changes subject*
Happy birthday to my lovely sister Danella who is 17 tomorrow (14th). Have a wonderful birthday and a wonderful year, Danella!

May you be blessed abundantly!

Hello, my name is... Regret

Hello, my name is Regret

I’m pretty sure we have met

Every single day of your life

I’m the whisper inside

That won’t let you forget

- From 'Hello, my name is' by Matthew West

As Matthew West's song says, regrets are the whisper inside that won't let us forget. That won't leave us. That won't give up on constantly reminding us of our failures.

Dictionary definition of regret

Regret: feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over (something that one has done or failed to do).

I think there isn't a single person in the world that doesn't have a regret about something. I have regrets. I often lie in bed and think back over the day and kick myself about things I did and things I failed to do! 

But the question is - are regrets healthy?

Because sure, it is good to make mistakes and learn from them. But isn't there a point where it becomes unhealthy to obsess over our mistakes and cringe over our actions? If so, where is that point?

As is always a good idea when we have questions like this, let's take it to Scripture.

2 Corinthians 7:10
For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.

There is definitely a time and a place for godly grief and godly regret. If we sin, we should not continue in an unremorseful state of mind! Our sin should be properly regretted and confessed to the Lord. 

1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

But after that regretting and confessing - what then? Well, we are cleansed from all unrighteousness, as 1 John 1:9 says the Lord is faithful and just enough to do.

Psalm 51:8-9 “Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that You have broken rejoice. Hide Your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities.”

He hides his face from our sins and blots out all our iniquities. Psalm 103:12 backs this up, going so far as to say that he has removed our transgressions (sins) from us as far as the east is from the west! That's a long way. 

God doesn't remember our sins. He takes them away and they don't count against us any more.

So what should we do?

Should we continue in our regret and annoyance at ourselves because of our sin?

You know what I think? I reckon that if God forgets our sin, maybe we should, too. 

I'm not saying that we can continue in our sin, forgetting the consequences and not learning from mistakes we have made. I'm saying that we should stop beating ourselves up about our past mistakes and just get on with our lives.

Philippians 3:13
Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead...

There we go. The key of it all, I think. Forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead.

I don't think that constantly looking behind us makes for a very good journey. If you look behind you all the time you won't see the potholes and pitfalls in front of you! No, you need to look in front of you and in the words of Paul, strain forward to what lies ahead. 

I think that the past can be an amazing teacher. We can learn so much from what has gone on in our past - and it can definitely be the catalyst for change in the future. 

But is heaps of regret helpful? 

No.

Proverbs 15:13 “A glad heart makes a cheerful face, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is crushed.”

You can't change the past but you can change the future. 

So no matter what you've done in the past - sins you've committed, foolish errors you've made, mistakes you've made, wrong roads you've taken- there's really no point regretting it too much. The past is the past. What's done is done. 

Stop looking behind you and regretting what you've done. Learn from your mistakes- and move on.

May you be blessed abundantly!

What has the Lord been teaching you lately?

Bonnie's Helpful Guide to Overcoming a Bad Habit

I've finally broken the bad habit that has been the bane of my entire existence.

I have stopped biting my fingernails.

Perhaps not permanently, mind you. I mean, if no scissors are handy and there's an annoying bit coming off then I might just bite it off. But I've got to the point where I'm not obsessive about biting them right down. And I'm so thankful of that! It's the resolution I make every year - to stop biting my nails - and have always, so far, failed.

I've tried countless times before. Clear nail polish, sticking plasters over the nails, sheer willpower, you name it. But something about the summer of 2016 was just right for breaking this habit and so I set out on my mission (not completely sure this try was going to be any different than the others!).

I painted my nails with clear nail polish (it wasn't coloured because I hate drawing attention to my short, stubby, bitten fingernails). I then re-applied it religiously when it threatened to chip off. And so my battle began.

After about two days it was REALLY annoying. I found myself touching the ends of my nails with my fingertips all the time. It felt weird to have the ends of my nails so long. It felt odd. It just wasn't right. But I stuck it. And they grew.

Slowly, sure. But they grew.
After a few weeks they got to the point where it felt different to play the violin because the nails on my left hand fingers were now long enough to interfere with my vibrato technique.

So I don't think I can let them grow much more.

But I've got to the point where I no longer bite my nails while reading a book. I can bring my fingers up to my face and take them away again. The urge is no longer there.

I think it's safe to say I've beaten the habit.

So how did I do it?

If you're like me, you find it EXTREMELY hard to overcome a bad habit. I've been trying to stop biting my nails for years. Ever since I can remember, in fact.

I've heard it takes three days to form a habit and three weeks to get rid of one.

Whether those exact numbers are true or not, the numbers are similar anyway. Breaking a habit takes more perseverance, willpower and energy than making a habit does.

So how do you break a bad habit? How did I do it?

I'm not an expert. All I've done is broken one habit that's plagued my existence. (Actually, two- when I was about eight I stopped sucking my thumb. Maybe I am an expert. :P)
But I'm sure we've all got bad habits that could do with a bit of breaking, so if you are interested, read on for my (hopefully) helpful guide to overcoming a bad habit, drawn out of my experiences.


1. Make sure breaking the habit is something you REALLY want to do.
Bad habits hold you in a vice like grip. So much so that you have to be pretty persistent to break free. You've got to really want to. If you're lukewarm or don't see the point of breaking it, don't even bother.

2. Set standards in place that will help you in your habit-breaking journey.
Tell some people about your goals. They can encourage you and hold you up to what you've started out to do. Try different methods for breaking your habit. Things like not just trying to remember to keep your fingers out of your mouth, but putting nail polish on so the nails taste awful. Do things. The more boundaries and standards you have in place before you begin, the easier you will find it.

3. Actually START.
There is no point in spending all day planning the habit breaking. There's nothing quite like actually starting. There's no day like today, no time like right now!

4. Reward the little triumphs.
Appreciate when you've come somewhere. Maybe you're two days into your challenge. Maybe you're two hours into it. Give yourself chocolate and celebrate your accomplishment. Motivation can be easily lost, especially when the going's hard, so keep at it and recognise some milestones.

5. Be strict on yourself.
Don't say to yourself, "Oh, I'll just ---- once". No, you will not bite your nails once, you will not give in to your temptation once. You were doing so well! Keep it up. Once you succumb once, the complete give in is just around the corner. Be a bit strict on yourself and realise that it's the only way you're going to break this habit. If it works for you, use punishments. Donate money when you slip up. Do fifty press-ups. Whatever works.

6. Follow it through! Don't lose motivation!
The most dangerous time for giving into temptation for me was about a week into it. My nails were annoyingly long, I was close to giving in. But remember why you're doing it. (Go back to your reasons in step 1.) Celebrate how far you've come and DON'T GIVE UP!! :) You can do it!

7. Recognise a victory and celebrate it.
Okay, it's four weeks after you've made your commitment and you're finding it a bit easier now. If you reckon you've actually broken this habit, maybe you have! Celebrate it and be happy! You did it. Don't keep trying ridiculously hard for another year. Maybe you're just as far from biting your nails now as you will be in three years time!

8. Stay on top of your victory once you are victorious.
When you've recognised your victory and broken your habit, don't casually slip back into your habit as time passes. Stay on top of it. You did all that hard work to get here - why go backwards? Do you really want all that hard stuff again?! Keep remembering where you've come from and why you did it.

 Look what this is - me wearing coloured nail polish for the first time in my entire life! For some reason it was really exciting. My nails have always been so short I never liked polishing them and so drawing attention to them. Pink sparkly nail polish to celebrate was definitely a good choice.


Hope you found that helpful! :) Have you ever broken a major bad habit?