Something to lighten up your day

A bicycle cannot stand alone, it is two tired.
A will is a dead giveaway.
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
A backward poet writes inverse.
In a democracy it's your vote that counts, in feudalism it's your Count that votes.
A chicken crossing the road- poultry in motion.
With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A flat miner.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
The guy who fell on an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France and resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
A calendar's days are numbered.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory which never developed.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end...
When you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall.
If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet.
A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math destruction.
Not matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

God bless you in everything you do!

Bonnie