Four Riddles and a Confusing Connection

Happy Friday, everyone!! Let's celebrate the awesomeness of Friday with four riddles and confusing connection. 

Q. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?

A. The third room. Lions that haven't eaten for three years are dead.

Q. You use a knife to slice my head and weep beside me when I am dead. What am I?

A. An onion.

Q. In California, you can't take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?

A. In any place you should use a camera to take photographs.

Q. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?

A. One. If he combines them all, they become one big one.

Think you're good at family connections? See if you can follow this...

Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation. One of them kept complaining of family problems. Finally, the other man said: “You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation: “A few years ago I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter. We got married and I got myself a stepdaughter. Later, my father married my stepdaughter. That made my stepdaughter, my step-mother. And my father became my stepson. Also, my wife became mother-in-law of her father-in-law. Much later, the daughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son. This boy was my half-brother because he was my father’s son. But he was also the son of my wife’s daughter which made him my wife’s grandson. That made me the grandfather of my half-brother. This was nothing until my wife and I had a son. Now the half-sister of my son, my stepmother, is also the grandmother. This makes my father, the brother-in-law of my child, whose stepsister is my father’s wife, I am my stepmother’s brother-in-law, my wife is her own child’s aunt, my son is my father’s nephew and I am my OWN GRANDFATHER!”