Wednesday, 22 May 2013

Why did the Chicken cross the Road?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Answers from some of the world's thinkers...
Julius Caesar: To come, to see, to conquer.

John Calvin: It was predestined.

Charles Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

Bill Gates: I have just released the new eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Of course, you will have to purchase Microsoft Road.

Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping fifty tons of nerve gas on it.

Sir Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.

Moses: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road.'' And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

Gandalf: O chicken, do not meddle in the affairs of roads, for you are tasty and good with barbecue sauce.

J.R.R. Tolkein: The chicken, sunlight coruscating off its radiant yellow- white coat of feathers, approached the dark, sullen asphalt road and scrutinized it intently with its obsidian-black eyes. Every detail of the thoroughfare leapt into blinding focus: the rough texture of the surface, over which countless tires had worked their relentless tread through the ages; the innumerable fragments of stone embedded within the lugubrious mass, perhaps quarried from the great pits where the Sons of Man labored not far from here; the dull black asphalt itself, exuding those waves of heat which distort the sight and bring weakness to the body; the other attributes of the great highway too numerous to give name. And then it crossed it.

Captain Kirk: To go boldly where no chicken has gone before.

Plato: For the greater good.

Jules Verne: Much knowledge of our world, and the worlds beyond, has been achieved through scientific curiosity. Under a 125 F.At 36 degree North and 115 degree East, and at 03:00 GMT, Professor Chicken entered history as his Cannon propelled him through the road.

William Shakespeare: I don't know why, but methinks I could rattle off a hundred-line soliloquy without much ado.

Computer programmer: cross_road() was called from get_other_side()

Shrek: Urrrrrp. What chicken?

Dr. Seuss:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!

Darth Vader: Because it could not resist the power of the Dark Side.

Martin Luther King Jr: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

Siri: I don't understand why people ask questions they already know the answer to.

Albert Einstein: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

Credits Jag Swiftstorm

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