A + A // I Name Stuff

I know I did an A+A post quite recently, but I feel like you deserve another good laugh. And trust me, I'm sure you'll get a couple of good laughs out of the awkward things I've managed to accomplish this week!

Awkward:
- Discovering that someone you've known for a while is a totally different age than you thought they were.
- Being picked up by Lydia's friend's Mum to take Lydia and me to ballet. She was running late, so Lydia and me were standing outside waiting for her. A car pulled up in the driveway and I was like, "Oh Lydia, they're here!" even though I was slightly confused because a gentleman got out of the car. I just assumed it was Lydia's friend's Mum's husband (can it get any more complicated than this? yup! Keep reading!) and opened the back door of the car and started to get in. While I was doing this, I noticed Lydia's friend's Mum pulling up in her car on the other side of the street..... I was getting into the car of some people who were dropping off a wee dog that we are to look after for a few weeks.
- Those awkward times when it's like five minutes before you're going out somewhere, and you're all ready to go, and you don't want to sit still and do nothing and so waste time, but you don't really have time to do anything worthwhile.
- When you can't make something work, and tell someone else it's jammed, and they come over and show you the really simple reason why it won't work.
- People hiding behind things and jumping out at you. (I'm not going to say that I've never done this myself, however.)
- When you're walking along and you see walking towards you an acquaintance you don't know very well. They suddenly notice you and start waving and racing towards you as fast as they can. You are a wee bit surprised because they don't normally act this thrilled to see you! But you smile and wave and walk a bit faster to meet them. Then they come level with you, still waving and smiling (with you waving and smiling back), pass you, and give a massive hug to someone who had been walking behind you.

Awesome:
- Little dogs who snuggle up on your bed at night. Better than a hot water bottle. :)
- Little dogs in general. The dog we're looking after is a bichon. Seriously guys, google image search 'bichon dogs'. You will be OVERWHELMED by the utter cuteness. (yeah, I know, and we get to look after one of these little bundles of fluffiness... try not to feel too jealous, will you?)
- Friends who ring you and chat with you for ages.
- Naming things. (Is it weird that I have fond names for some of my random possessions?? Please tell me it isn't. I love naming random stuff. Don't laugh, but I have four freckles on my left cheek, and they've all got names.)
- Fluffy warm knitted socks. I've even got a photo of them.

- Beautiful writing paper with flowers and butterflies and encouraging Bible verses. I mean, who wouldn't like receiving a lovely long letter from me on paper like that?!
- When your workmate who is supposed to be relieving you at work turns up an hour late so you have to work an hour longer. It's just so good to be on the other end of the awkward sometimes.
- Danella's random stir fries. She puts a whole lot of really different stuff into the frying pan, chucks in some spices and things, stirs it round for a bit, then dishes it up for lunch. And it is actually usually really good.
- Accomplishing a perfect parallel park while driving. Such a good feeling. I feel like my driving is perhaps improving, albeit slowly.
- Wrapping up presents in pretty printed paper and lots of ribbon and bows. Yay for ribbon and bows. I don't know how I would cope if I didn't have such a big family with lots of birthdays and Christmases to wrap presents for! It's so weird, but wrapping presents is like one of my biggest joys in life. :P
- Listening to someone sing when they think they're by themselves. ;)
- Discovering a book of Helen Steiner Rice's poems in my drawer that I didn't know I had... Going to go sit down with it and a hot drink. Excuse me for a minute while.
- The combination of really sharp pencils and paper that hasn't been used yet and is still nice and fresh and clean.


Okey dokey, I should probably stop here.... I feel like I could keep going and going with the awesomes. Happy thought that I'll have lots of a+a posts coming up in the future to write awesomes for! There are so many wonderful little things in life.

Do you name random stuff? Is it weird that I do?
What's the most awkward thing that has happened to you this week?
Are you a sucker for cute little dogs (or animals in general?)

500th post + Video!!!

I tell you what, friends, this is a very exciting day for me. With this post, I've hit a grand total of 500 posts!!

To celebrate, here's a special celebratory video I filmed for you, starring me (of course :P) and you (because without readers, this blog would be kinda pointless!)



Excuse the awful video quality. I've never filmed myself before, so it was a bit of an experiment (this was the eleventh try.... the previous ten were all even more awful than this one, so that is saying a lot! lol).

But yeah, video quality aside, I want to reiterate what I say in the video: you guys are awesome. You inspire me, and encourage me, and I feel very blessed and honoured to be the author of this blog.

Comment below with your very favourite post from the previous five hundred, and whether you think I should make more videos.... :)

Don't be a No person

One day, a man needed to cross a river. As he stood on the bank he saw a group on horseback coming up. Surveying them, he approached one of the men and asked him if he would please give him a ride over the river. The horseman immediately said Yes and took him onto his horse. Once across, another person approached and said, “Why did you ask the President for a ride?” Surprised the man told him, “I didn’t realize that he was the President, I only knew that he had a Yes face and you others all had No faces.”

Caleb and Jacob demonstrating 'No' faces for us

This true story comes from America’s history. It illustrates the great point that it is so easy to be No people when could be Yes people! We can’t be bothered doing something for someone else so the No face comes on and we miss out on the blessing of serving others and making a difference. I believe there are two main reasons why we say No when we could so easily say Yes. 

The first reason is what the N stands for in NO. It is Not Interested.

The key phrase here is “Why Should I?” 

Self-centeredness is a major problem. Our society is a me-first society, where Me, Myself and I are the most important. Saying No these days seems to be the “in” thing. It is strongly encouraged all over the place. We see articles all the time in various magazines that say things along the lines of “Say No to more stuff,” but on the next page it says, “Say Yes to yourself and indulge your own hobbies and interests, go to the gym, have a coffee with friends, read a good book, you owe it to yourself.” It’s our right. It’s our privilege.

Sometimes No is just a cloak for selfishness. Why should I bother to put myself out for someone else when it’s so much easier and more relaxing to do things that only benefit me? I’m definitely Not Interested in helping someone else out. No way!

There is a time and place to say No. Sometimes we just can’t say yes. And obviously, some things are clearly not in our best interests or simply can’t be managed. My point is not that we should never say No. My point is simply that sometimes I think we get into the groove of saying No for no other reason than that it is so convenient and comfortable and makes life easier for us. But there is something higher than an easy life.

This is a famous saying sometimes attributed to Stephen Grellet. “I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good thing, therefore, that I can do or any kindness I can show to any fellow human being let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”

Have you heard this phrase before: “What’s in it for me?” 

What is in it for you? The joy and blessings you get from being a Yes person! The knowledge that you have blessed the God who said that if you even give a cup of cold water to someone, you are really serving him and will be blessed in return. So many people have a default setting of No. When something is asked of them, their first response is No. A person like that is missing out on an awful lot of joy!

There is only so much one can squeeze out of a day. However let’s not have No as our first and automatic response as we may miss some of the special blessings and surprises that the Lord wanted to send us today. 

Sophie demonstrating a 'Yes' face for us

It has often been said that the key to having JOY is to put Jesus first, yourself last and others in between.

Here’s what the O stands for in NO. It’s Opportunities.

We live in a busy society where everyone is on the go and busy, busy, busy all the time. We fill our lives up with activities and important (and not so important) uses for our time. How, you say, can I ask you to say ‘Yes’ to more stuff? Do I really want to see you running around like a headless chook trying to get you to fit more stuff into your already busy life?

Busyness can be a trap. We do have opportunities. We must keep things in perspective and make sure our priorities are in order. Are we busy with the most important things in life or busy with the ‘fillers’? Do we refuse to say Yes to something extremely valuable just so we can go out and have more me-time? We must keep this as our bottom line. “I never want to be so busy that I don’t have time to help a person in need.”

I have heard it said that “the need does not constitute the call”. How tragic this line is. I’m awfully glad the Good Samaritan didn’t look at the injured man on the road and say to himself “The need does not constitute the call” and so walk past. If there is a need, and you are in the right position and able to fill that need, then it is your call.

Yes, we can’t do everything. However, have you heard the story of the boy who was throwing dying starfish back into the sea? The beach was littered with thousands of starfish and a looker-on thought it was a pointless job. Yet when he asked the boy why he was bothering because it wasn’t making much of a difference, the boy threw one more starfish into the ocean and told the man, “It made a difference to that one.”

You might not be able to change the entire world, but at least you can change a small part of it, for someone. You can be a light, spreading sunshine wherever you go.

Helen Keller once famously said “I am only one, but still I am one. I can’t do everything. But I can do something. Because I can’t do everything, I will not refuse to do the something I can do.”

Don’t be a No person. Be a YES person. 

You have laid your hand upon me

Psalm 139:1-6
You have searched me, oh Lord, and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue, you know it completely, oh Lord.
You hem me in behind and before, you have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

Go back and read the passage once more. 

Isn't that the most beautiful picture?

I had actually memorized the entire Psalm 139 a few months ago. And I recite it every now and again so I can make sure I still know it. But I hadn't actually twigged as to the implications of verses 1-6. Until yesterday.

Ladies and gentlemen, here's verse 5 again:

You hem me in behind and before, you have laid your hand upon me.

You have laid your hand upon me.

Wow! Every time I read that I get funny shivers of delight down my spine! That God, the Lord of the universe, the King of all Kings, has laid his hand upon me. He hems me in, behind and before. That's not scary. That's not creepy. That's safety. That's security. 

That's why we can trust, and rest, in our never-changing God. Because his hand is lovingly upon us, and he hems us in, behind and before. 

I don't know about you, but that makes me feel humbled. Awestruck. 

That our great God would put his hand on little me.... 

It does take a wee bit of getting your head around, doesn't it! And David (who wrote this Psalm) knew that. The next verse goes like this.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.

Even David, who was very close to God, couldn't properly understand exactly what it means that God has his hand upon us. And I think that we can't either.

We are humans, with little brains, and we can struggle to understand things like this. Like how can God have his hand on each one of us? We're made in His image and we only have two hands!

Sometimes I think that we should just let go of the questions. For me, that verse "You have laid your hand upon me" is so comforting and powerful. I just like to enjoy that verse without worrying about how it's physically managed by God!! :)

I don't even know where I am trying to take these lines of thought. I just wanted to share that with you because I love it. And I wanted you to hear those words, too.

May the Lord be with you... have a wonderful day!

PS. Oh, and happy Independence Day to my lovely American readers!

Rainbows

It is quite easy to look at the world around us and be discouraged. Because the darkness is increasing.

But.....

The ever-changing world around us does not change who God is and what he calls us to do.

Regardless of how the Supreme Court rules on same-sex marriage, abortion, immigration, or any other issues, God remains sovereign.

I heard a wonderful sermon recently. The speaker said something like; "As the darkness around us gets darker, the light inside us shines brighter." And I love that. Because it's true. God is still sovereign, and no matter what happens to the world around us, God remains the same. The darkness around us gets darker, but we carry inside us the Light of our risen Lord. And He is sovereign. No matter what.

An interesting article that I came across can be found here.

A Poem About Clay

I'm a lump of wet clay and I'm sitting

All alone, ugly and afraid

On a bench in the Great Potter's workshop

My life all before me laid.

All I must do is abandon myself

And give myself up to Him fully

For a lump of wet clay cannot make of itself

Something that brings the Potter joy.

The thing is, my friend, if I put myself in

The hands of the Potter Himself

I lose all control of the path of my life

And so I remain on His shelf.

But the thing that I find is so hard just to do

Will be what's best for me in the end

If I say to the Craftsman, "Come Lord, fashion me"

He'll gently stretch, shape and bend.

Sometimes the process is lavished with tears

And the tools that He uses bring pain

As the Potter makes of a vessel

That will bring glory to His great name.

But, though the process is painful and long

The safest place for that lump of clay

Is in the nest of the hands of the Craftsman

So here in His hands I will stay.

Through this journey I seek not my own glory

I desire that when others look upon me

They exclaim over my beauty, and wondrous design

This points them, not to I, but to He.

written on the 16th of June 2015

A + A // Ski Crash Spectacular

Awkward:
- Trying to pour soup from a thermos into a cup in a moving vehicle and not realizing there's a sharp bend up ahead... No, I didn't spill it, but I came awfully close!
- So I went skiing recently (I've been a few times before and am an intermediate skier), and I had just done a run off the summit of the mountain. As I was dropping down into a lower run, I witnessed a spectacular crash across the slope. Someone went flying and one of their skis ended up quite a bit higher on the mountain than they did. So I thought to myself, I am going to be a Good Samaritan (because there wasn't really anyone else very near). So I skied across the slope, picked up his ski and started skiing down to him to deliver his ski to him and see if he needed help. However, as I came down to him I completely lost control and crashed myself! (I think it was mostly due to the fact that I was trying to hold onto his ski as well as my poles and ski myself... and it was a particularly steep bit of the slope...) Anyway, I ended up in a pile at his feet and both he and I were laughing uncontrollably. Here was I, trying to help him out, and I crash myself!! His ski that I had been holding flew out of my arms when I crashed and landed a wee way down the mountain. My skis came off and I spent about ten minutes trying to get them back on again. As I said before, the slope was really steep and whenever I tried to stand on the ski hard to get the bindings on my boot to snap onto the ski, my other ski would start to slide and over I would go again. It took me ages to get back together again. But I eventually managed it, when the kind gentleman who I'd originally set out to help helped me get myself sorted out. Oh dear. We sorted it out in the end. So funny though. And sort of ironic, when you think about it. (That was the first of only two times I crashed that day, just saying!)
- Asking a question, and then thinking about something else. The other person answers your question but you're so busy thinking about this other thing you completely miss what they said and have to ask again.
- Trying to play the violin while wearing a thick scarf. The two do not go together, which is slightly annoying.


Awesome:
- Being able to 'talk' to your sister by only using your facial expressions. And her totally understanding what you're asking and replying with her eyes. Such a cool thing! It mystified the people around us. They were like, "How did you guys do that?" And we were like, "We knew what the other one was thinking and asking."
- Having a nice big pun battle. Such fun. Haven't had one of those for ages.
- Knitting an entire soft toy in a week. (He's the mascot for a superhero themed kid's camp coming up soon.) I named him Steve. Here he is, waving hi to you all. :)

- Falling asleep in your warm, cosy bed, listening to the sound of gentle rain on the roof.
- Banana splits for dessert, with ripe bananas, cookies and cream icecream and homemade chocolate sauce.
- The book of Isaiah. I love the prophetic books in the Bible. So much wonderfulness in them.

Isaiah 43:1-3

But now, this is what the Lord says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel:

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

When you pass through the waters,I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior...

And that seems like a good note on which to close. :)

Have you ever been skiing and crashed spectacularly?
Do you knit? If so, what sort of projects do you make?
What's your favourite book of the Bible?

Confessions of a frustrated violinist

This afternoon Danella and I played a few pieces on our various instruments for Grandma and Grandad, who are staying with us at the moment.

It was going beautifully. For most of the pieces, my fingers were doing what I wanted them to, my bow was going where I wanted it to go and my violin was sounding how I wanted it to sound. Then it happened.

I was rapidly playing a set of jigs on my violin, accompanied by Danella on the piano, when I suddenly stopped playing. It wasn't working. It just wasn't working.

No non-violinist will ever be able to understand the frustration. Maybe you violinists won't be able to either, because I'm not sure if it's just a Bonnie-and-her-violin frustration or a violin thing in general. It's where your fingers are doing the right thing, but you just can't seem to get the beat of the music and it sounds bad and you begin to make a whole series of silly mistakes. It frustrates me no end.

So  I stopped playing, and Mum and Grandma immediately want to know what's wrong. I reply, annoyed, "It's just not doing what I want it to do!!" and get asked to persevere because as awful as I thought it sounded, actually apparently it was "beautiful". So we continue, with me stuffing it up heaps and making it really hard for my longsuffering accompanist, Danella.

At the end I get told by my lovely relatives that my playing is beautiful and I'm just being silly. But I'm not. I know I'm not. I know that my playing was bad (or at best, average) and that frustrated me because it had been going so well up until those rascally jigs!

I am a violinist. I know when my playing is terrible.

The thing is, my expectations are colossal!! And my playing virtually never pleases me.

It doesn't please me because I have such high expectations. I want each note to be perfect. I want it to sound beautiful, pleasing to the ear. I want my violin to behave itself (and it often doesn't to my standards, being only a cheap violin). I want my fingers to move dexterously and at the right time. I just want it to sound nice.

And it never pleases me. Sure, it does, when I play for myself. When I play for my own enjoyment my playing pleases me. Because although I still make mistakes, and am not happy with myself, I know it doesn't matter, because there's no one to hear. And I just play for the love of my music and my violin. And it makes me happy. :)

But when I play for others I get really annoyed at myself. Because it just doesn't sound as good as I want it to

I've been playing the violin for three and a half years now. It's a tricky instrument. I've read articles that claim that the violin is the most difficult instrument around. But because I'm 17, and because I'm proud, and know that others expect me to be better than I am, I dislike playing in front of others.

I said it. I'm proud.

That's my problem. I can't cope with failure. I can't look bad in front of other people.

Do you know, two days ago I played for the first time for people who weren't my family, very close friends or my teacher (not counting orchestra performances... I'm in a group so that doesn't count.)?

Danella and I were invited to play some harp and violin duets for a church senior's lunch. That was so freaky for me. I've been invited to play for other things before, but never done them, because I was so scared people would see me, an older girl, and expect incredible music to flow from my fingers. And I know I can't provide that.

That concert Danella and I played two days ago was liberating for me. I didn't play perfectly. I know I didn't. But all the old ladies and men cheered for us, and we got lots of lovely comments. (Even if it had been absolutely awful we still would have got lovely comments, because our church seniors are so encouraging and sweet!)

I thought to myself, "Finally! After all these years I can now be happy enough with my playing to play for other people!"

And then I blew it. This afternoon I was SO disappointed with how bad my playing sounded to me. I felt that I had let my parents down, for buying lessons for me these three and a half years. I always feel overshadowed by my incredibly talented younger sister Danella on her harp (she's been playing substantially longer than I have, too).

Why am I telling you this?

Because I'm disappointed with myself. And I'm disappointed with myself that I'm disappointed with myself.
(Which actually makes sense if you think about it for a while.)

What I'd really like to be able to do is play difficult pieces perfectly. So everyone would look at me and think I'm a wonderful person because I play so beautifully. (Can you see why God didn't allow me to start learning the violin earlier?!)

If I can't play perfectly, I'd like to be able to be happy with how I play. To come to the place where I don't feel embarrassed to play my average pieces in front of others. To just enjoy my music.

Because I do enjoy playing for myself. But the instant I play for others, I feel so bad.

And that's my pride....

Silly, silly pride, why do you care what others think about you?

Bonnie's Opinion: Relationships

Relationships.

If you're like me, you're curious about what I'm going to say on this topic. :P Yeah, I don't quite know yet either.

I would most definitely not have gone near this subject with a ten foot bargepole (at this stage in my life, anyway) if one of my readers hadn't emailed me this:

I'm not sure if you know anything about this topic or not, but I was wondering if you could do a post on relationships.
Like, what to do if you like a boy, and then you don't, and the boy stops talking to you, and you're hurt inside, or whatever. (I'm not having these issues, but it would be helpful if I could read something about this to help someone else. Do you know any good articles that talk about this?) And how to control your feelings and turn things over to God. And how young is too young to date, etc.

Wow. Um... thanks... now, how do I tackle this???!!

I start off by saying that I do not have all the answers.

I am a young single female who is not married and has never been in a serious relationship. So I am not exactly qualified to discuss this subject. Others more qualified than I have tackled this subject.

I highly recommend, for example, reading "Growing Up Duggar" which is all about relationships: with your family, your friends, the world, and boys. It is written by the four oldest Duggar girls Jana, Jessa, Jill and Jinger, and has a lot of practical advice.

But we go back to the question. I was asked to do a post on relationships. (This is it, by the way, just in case you were confused.)

I was more specifically asked "what to do if you like a boy, and then you don't, and the boy stops talking to you, and you're hurt inside, or whatever." Firstly, I don't know that "whatever" describes this very well. This is clearly a very specific occasion and has obviously happened to someone! :)

Feelings are unavoidable. We can't help noticing others. As we grow up, hormones and all sorts of lovely things like that start whizzing around in our bodies and we begin to notice that people of the other gender exist. I don't think that the problem is us 'liking' others. Because that sometimes just happens, and I don't neccessarily think that can be helped, in every situation. I think that the problem is more what to do with your 'liking'.

Do you think about that person a lot? Do you find yourself flirting with them when the two of you meet in public? Do you allow yourself the freedom to imagine what it would be like to be in a relationship with that person?

Those are all very dangerous things to do, in my opinion. And the reason is this. If you find yourself getting more and more emotionally attached to them (which will happen if you think about them) then you're getting stuck in a tricky situation.

Feelings can be unavoidable. It's what you do with the feelings that is up to you.

Unless you are ready for marriage and are praying for God to bring along the right life partner for you, my advice is to try not to think about the opposite gender. I know, I know, God works in mysterious ways and He may well decide to bring someone along when you aren't looking/ready for them. But I think it's a good general rule of thumb.

I am not going to go into the whole courtship vs. dating debate here. I'd just like to say that I don't think there is a right way or a wrong way to do it. I think it's more about the heart attitude behind what you do than which system you use and what you call it. Because I've seen couples dating who are pretty much courting, only, they call it dating, and I'm sure it works the other way too. No system is perfect. I think you need to do what you feel God wants you to do (and of course pray about it lots and talk to wise older people like your parents!).

I think you also need to analyse your reasons for wanting to get into a relationship. I think it's pointless to play around with peoples hearts for no reason! My advice is that if you are doing it because you like the idea of it, or because you crave approval from someone of the opposite gender, or because all your friends are doing it and you feel left out, or because you're getting older and you feel lonely.... those are all the wrong reasons, in my humble opinion. I think that relationships are serious things and should be treated as such. You do realise, don't you, that the decision you make about who you marry will affect the entire rest of your life??!!? No pressure! :)

So I've talked about my perspective on 'liking' people of the opposite gender. My advice is whenever you think about the subject, submit it to the Lord. A lot of people take their burdens to God in prayer, then take them away with them again! We need to 'cast' our cares on the Lord. And leave them there for Him to deal with. He is perfectly able to deal with our little situations! Whenever you think about that person that you 'like', take them to the Lord. Tell the Lord you don't know what to do about your feelings. Ask the Lord to take away that feeling of longing in your heart and replace it with His peace. And He will.

My advice to the person who found herself 'liking' a guy, then not 'liking' him, then feeling hurt because he stopped talking to her is this. People are fickle. You are fickle (You stop 'liking' him then feel  hurt because he stopped talking to you? I mean.... lol!). I don't think that this is massively to be concerned about, to be honest. I know what I'm talking about when I say that in life you will find disappointments. People change. You change. Only God remains the same.

My advice is to chase God, not boys. Because if you find God, everything else falls into place. But if you chase boys, your life will still be empty, no matter how loved you thought you would feel. Nothing is fulfilling except a life devoted to God alone.

I'm really sorry that you feel hurt about the boy not talking to you. But my advice is still the same. Focus on God. Focus on loving your family, and your friends, and shining Jesus into the world. Practice being a wonderful sister, a wonderful daughter and a blessing to those around you, so that someday, Lord willing, you will be a wonderful wife.

I think something that has been very important in my life is the relinquishing of singleness. (I wasn't going to mention this, because it's a personal thing, and I want to keep this post as general as possible, but I felt like it was important to mention, so here goes...) *plucks up courage*

I used to worry that I would never get married. That no guy would ever be interested in little, silly me. And I don't know if I will ever get married. Which makes me feel scared and sad because I don't want to be a spinster all my life!! (Much as spinsters are lovely people!) I want to have children and a husband.... and I've had to face the fact that I may never. I think that no matter how sure you are that you will get married, you should still give the Lord your life and your singleness. Every time I worry about it, I take it to the Lord, like I said above. And He brings me His peace to replace the ache in my heart. :) Because God is in charge of my life. And if His perfect plan is that I remain single to glorify Him and serve Him singly, then I will do that cheerfully because He knows what I need better than myself. It's a great comfort to have Him in charge. Saves me worrying about life!

Real quickly, because I know this post is getting long! The last part of the question: "And how to control your feelings and turn things over to God. And how young is too young to date, etc."

I think I've talked about how to control your feelings and turn things over to God. Basically, just pray. Tell the Lord that you can't control your feelings and you don't know what to do. Give your life, your dreams, your hopes to God... and step back, peaceful and happy in the knowledge that He will do what He knows is best. And so you can trust Him.

How young is too young to date. I think that twenty is too young to date. "What?" you say? :)

Twenty is too young to date if you are doing it for the wrong reasons, like I briefly touched on earlier in this post. Twenty is too young to date if you are not ready for it. I think that each person on this planet is different from every other. So there is no set age that is too young. Obviously, let's not go overboard, because I know sixteen year olds that are very mature and if the Lord was in it, maybe it would be His will for them to date and marry young. But I think that it's different for everyone and for that reason, we can't really set boundaries.

I will say that in my opinion, anything under about sixteenish is quite young and if you were dating that young, maybe you should evaluate your reasons and spend some time seriously seeking the Lord.

I'd like to close with a bit of a recap. :)

I am no expert on this subject.
The best thing to do is pray a lot. This is a difficult and confusing time of life, so it is wise to be as close to God as possible!
Feelings are unavoidable. It's what we do with them that we can change.
Try not to think about anyone of the opposite gender.
Take every feeling and every conflicting or confusing thought to the Lord. And leave all your burdens with Him. He can deal with them.
Be very, very careful about getting emotionally attached to people at the wrong time.
Courtship vs. Dating: no right answer. Talk to your parents, and pray about it.
Chase God, not boys/girls.
The decision you make about who you marry will affect the rest of your life.
Take the issue of you remaining single to the Lord, if it's something you're worried about. Keep doing that. The Lord will give you His peace.
We can't set one specific age as being 'too young to date' because everyone's different. Be very careful, whenever you do it, and carefully monitor your reasons for doing it.


Thanks for reading my humble opinion on this very complicated subject!!

Traditions For a Birthday

So it's June, and we don't have any family birthdays in June. So I decided to write a post about our family birthdays. Traditions, what we do to celebrate, etc. Are you ready? Ready or not, here we go!

Note: Before we begin, just wanted to clarify that 'birthday child' could also mean Mum or Dad. Some of the things obviously Mum and Dad don't do, and as we've grown older, some of us older kids have ditched a few of the traditions mentioned here. The majority of them we all do, however.

In the weeks leading up to the big day:
- The birthday child makes sure every family member knows their gift requests (if they have any).
- The birthday child chooses what sort of cake they would like and makes sure the baker (of their choice) knows exactly how to make it and any small (or large) details that the birthday child requests.
- The BC (birthday child) puts all necessary cake making things (special lollies, fondant icing if required, etc) on the shopping list so it gets purchased.
- The BC hunts around in his or her drawer/desk/stuff container for their Christmas stocking and makes sure it is going to be easily locatable for the night before the big day.
- The BC puts in his or her request for a special 'birthday tea' (Mum makes the tea the birthday child likes the best. Chow mein or lasagna are popular choices for birthday teas.)

The day before the big day:
- The BC makes sure the cake baker bakes the cake. It doesn't normally get decorated until the actual birthday, however.
(Interlude: Here are a bunch of photos of a few of the cakes we've made and eaten to celebrate birthdays in the past... there is a recentish one, a few old, old ones, and some old ones.)

- In the evening, the BC pulls out their Christmas stocking and puts it outside their bedroom door. This is a very important tradition.

The long awaited day itself:
- The BC wakes up at whatever time suits him or her. They rush to the bedroom door and peek inside their stocking. It's always full of exactly the same thing every year, but it's still terribly exciting. It will be full of a mandarin or orange (depending on the time of year and how lucky they are), a wrapped lolly and a $2 coin. This is what each of us gets in our birthday stocking every year. It's a tradition. :)
- The BC arises and dresses. They then walk out to the dining room, where they seat themselves at their usual place at the table. The place is known as the 'birthday chair' and has sprouted two balloons on it during the night. The siblings (who usually arise early on a sibling's birthday) will have brought their various presents and arranged them around the placemat of the BC. The BC is not allowed to open them yet however, oh no! They must wait, tantalised by the shape and size of the mysterious gifts.
- Abbie brings out the special breakfast for the birthday child. For some reason, one of our birthday traditions is that Abbie makes them breakfast. :) She usually does something like pancakes with berry sauce or some other fancy thing. For my last birthday she made donuts. On Abbie's birthday one of us makes her breakfast.
- After the birthday child has breakfasted at their leisure, they have a very impatient time of waiting for Mum and Dad to get up. They aren't allowed to open any of the presents so tantalisingly arranged around their place at the table.
- When Mum and Dad get up, Mum brings out into the dining room the presents from themselves, grandparents, and uncle and aunty. This is now the big moment the birthday child has been waiting for.
- Everyone gathers round as the birthday child is allowed to open the gifts. There are often cries of "That one's from me" and "Open that one next" or "I know what's in that one!"
- After the gifts are all opened, the birthday child will usually (if they are an older child) write down exactly who gave them what so they know who to write thank you notes to. If they are a younger child, they generally skip this step.
- The BC now has a free day. If the birthday falls on a weekday, the BC is very lucky, because they don't have to do schoolwork on their birthday. If it is on a weekend, however, the birthday child doesn't get to miss out on any schoolwork because they wouldn't have done it on that day anyway.
- They will usually get a special lunch if it is so requested, maybe nachos or homemade pizza or pumpkin soup.
- The birthday child also has the whole afternoon to do what they please in (provided they aren't going to any activities like swimming or a music lesson or sport practice). The birthday child is also exempt from any of their usual or extra chores on their birthday.
- Often the birthday child will help to decorate their cake during the afternoon of their birthday. Some birthday children like to leave it all in the hands of the capable baker, while others consider it much more fun to oversee and/or participate in the affair.
- In the evening, the special placemats are brought out. The birthday placemats are flower ones, with roses and lupins on them. (The everyday placemats are roosters on a green background.)
- The specially requested birthday tea is dished up, and everyone eats. After that it really gets exciting.
- Daddy pours everyone a glass of sparkling grape juice.
- One of the older girls puts candles on the cake and someone is sent to man the lights.
- The candles are lit and the lights are all switched off.
- As the older girl brings the cake from the kitchen bench to the table, everyone sings the birthday child "Happy Birthday", closely followed by "For He/She's a Jolly Good Fellow". We then all clap to the number the birthday child is turning. So if Jacob was turning four, we would clap four times. If it was Mum or Dad, we'd clap for substantially longer. :)
- The cake bearer parades the cake around the table so everyone can get a good look. Then they set it down in front of the BC who blows out the candles, and the light person switches the lights back on.
- Someone dishes up the cake. If the BC is an older child, they do it, if not, an older child does it. Danella often ends up getting the job for some random reason.
- After everyone has eaten far too much cake, we do Birthday Blessings. Birthday blessings is when everyone prays for the birthday child. Everyone prays, from those who can barely talk, right up the line. We thank the Lord for the birthday child and the wonderful blessing it is to have that person in our family. We ask for the Lord's hand on their life, and that they would have a wonderful year.
- Then everyone is excused from the table and we all do our normal evening activities. Usually the birthday child is allowed to stay up a bit later than normal, and will play a board game with either Mum or Dad, or if they're lucky, both.

And that's it!! I didn't actually think we had that many birthday traditions, but looking back on that list, there is quite a few!

What birthday traditions do you have in your household?