Friday, 23 September 2016
How to Give a Compliment
I recently did a post about how to respond to a compliment (find it here). This post is about how to give a compliment (after it was suggested to me in a comment on the other post). Hope you find it helpful!
Giving compliments is super awesome and really fun. It makes you feel really happy and good inside. It takes the focus off you and spreads a little joy. And if you give it in the right way and handle the conversation afterwards carefully, I honestly don't think it needs to be terribly awkward (feel free to agree or disagree with me!).
I saw a definition of a compliment which was "a verbal act of sunshine" and I LOVE that! By giving a compliment you are distributing sunshine! Yay! *proceeds to get really excited*
I think compliments are a great idea. Hopefully I've convinced you of the same.
But how do you give a compliment?
Well, firstly, it must be sincere.
Sincerity is so important. Don't give a compliment frivolously! Don't say it just for the sake wanting something to say. If you want to give a compliment, find something you genuinely appreciate or like and then compliment it. Don't arbitrarily pick things ("nice nose"). A good compliment goes deeper! Mean what you say and say what you mean.
Have the right motives
This kind of ties in with the previous point. Don't compliment to make it look like you are a nice person. Compliment to make someone else feel special! Your purpose is to bless them, not to bless you. Keep this in mind.
It's easy to be broad and generic in your compliments. However, be specific (and focus on achievements more than physical traits - that can be a good idea).
So instead of telling someone that they have a nice outfit, you can compliment them on their good taste and tell them you love the way the colours work together in what they are wearing. It will be more meaningful.
And don't compliment everyone the same way. If you tell most people you see that you like their outfit, it's time to change it up a bit! Take the time to come up with something you genuinely admire or appreciate about the person and compliment them on that.
Be generous in your compliments but not excessive.
Don't shower someone with compliments. If you are a little more sparing, your words will resonate more.
It's all in the delivery
Since you're only going to be complimenting someone if you are sincere, make it sound like you are sincere! How you deliver the compliment is very important. Speak warmly and sincerely - and make eye contact while you do so. Smile at the person (but don't laugh - you don't want to make it sound like you are joking).
Don't ruin it
Don't give backhanded compliments. It's a passive-aggressive way to hurt someone's feelings. For example, telling someone you like their hair and then asking what is different from normal will really devalue what you are saying. Don't ruin it! Here's another example:
"You're really good at running, for a girl". Attaching a qualifier to a compliment turns it into an insult.
By the way....
I don't want to scare you off complimenting because you are worried it will come across bad. Compliment anyway! Speak up, show a bit of courage and brighten someone's day. Be sincere and kind... and just go for it.
(this post is not me fishing for complimentary comments, just clarifying :P)
Linking up here.
PS. I HIT 45 BLOG FOLLOWERS!! So excited! Thanks guys! (It actually says 46 because I'm one of them but I don't count me because, well, I'm me. :P)