Saturday, 29 April 2017
Dealing with Disappointment
Disappointment is something we all have to cope with, most of us many times during our lives. We get our hopes set on something and then suddenly WHAM, that's not going to work out anymore so we go away and try to cope with the disappointment.
It's not easy.
It's incredibly hard.
Because when you let yourself hope about something, even if you're only hoping a teeny, tiny bit, you are setting yourself up for disappointment later on down the track when your hopes are dashed.
So what does that mean? Should we never allow ourselves to hope about anything?
No, I don't think so at all!
I think we should be wise about what we set our hopes on, however.
Is it something that is very likely to happen? Think and dream about it more than something that isn't likely at all to happen. Thinking and dreaming about something is definitely not bad. It is best to be careful though, in case you are setting yourself up for disappointment.
Even if you were wise about what you set your hope on, you may still of course find out it won't work out and then be plunged into disappointment. What to do if that happens?
I find that allowing myself to go around with a 'poor me' attitude is incredibly unhelpful! What I tend to do is try to think about the situation through a new lens. Of course you are disappointed. You have just had your hopes dashed. Not fun at all. But letting yourself dwell in the depths of despair for an extended period of time isn't, I think, very helpful.
I try to think of the situation as being closed off to me when I think about it. Whenever my thoughts drift onto 'that' subject, I try to bring closure to it in my mind and move on to different thoughts. Yes I let myself be sad about it for a bit, but as I said above, dwelling in the depths of despair for a long time isn't good.
So how do you move on?
I think it can be good to put your problems into perspective. Consider your issue in light of what other people whom you know are facing. Consider it in light of all the starving children in Africa, if that's what helps. Think of it in light of eternity.
Ask yourself: Will this matter a week from now? A year from now? Twenty years from now?
Another good way to help deal with disappointment is to talk to someone about it. Find a friend you trust or an older person who has wisdom, and talk to them. Don't be afraid to be open and honest about what you're going through!
And be grateful. Count your blessings. Think of your situation and then think of how happy you are that it hasn't happened repeatedly in your life (unless it has, in which case forget that instruction). Put on your positive pants. Think of all the blessings the Lord has given to you and be thankful! :)
Listen to music. I know this might be cliche but music is such a lifter of the spirit. Worship music is a fantastic lifter because you are putting the focus off yourself onto God. Praise the Lord and magnify Him for who He is.
Speaking of God, talk to Him! He knows your disappointment. He knows your heart and all your dreams and goals and desires. He also loves it when you talk to Him and discuss what's going on. The Holy Spirit is such an encourager and you will be greatly touched by Him when you allow Him to touch you.
Be open to new opportunities. So one door has closed, maybe it's time to look around for another door. Or perhaps a window!
How do you deal with disappointment?